Where Is That Inner Light?


I have been contemplating so many heavy things this week, including my life purpose and family structure. One of my friends told me that it might all be pointless and that no relationship could ever be truly happy and that we are always alone. Something along those existential lines. And after several days of throwing myself a giant Mercury Retrograde pity party…I’ve snapped out of it a bit.



Why? Mainly my friends who are pushy witches! No really though, when I was miserable this week there was that friend who wouldn’t accept my crappy “I’m fine” text. There was that other loving friend who wouldn’t let me hide and suggested that perhaps Mercury Retrograde is not the right time period to make major life changes. If you don’t have a crew like this in your life or even that one person to be your cheerleader when you feel down, it’s not too late to do some manifestation work. It’s perfect timing with Samhain so near. Ask and set an intention for loving, lasting friends to enter your life.


My grandparents were married for over 75 years. I spent a lot of time with these two. They were not always happy with one another, but I saw a remarkable amount of teamwork. I saw two people always looking for the other in a crowd. They spent little time away from each other, yet they still worried when the other was gone for short time periods. When I was younger they would watch me, and they would steal away an embrace or kiss when they thought no one was looking. There was a look of fondness in their eye for each other that never died, even into their 90s. So, yes there are those who can have a measure of happiness in relationships for a length of time. So possibility does exist; perhaps we have not experienced it because we have put boundaries in our path that keep us from experiencing this type of soul-mate relationship?


Back to this concept of aloneness. Well yes, we are always alone. And yet we are all always not alone. We are both individual and yet connected at the same time. We are everything all at once. We don’t necessarily need to feel a sense of happiness to know that we are at our core light filled beings. Do I feel a sense of loneliness at times? I sure do. And having all that space makes me have anxiety at times. Then I stop and pause for a bit. I open up to the Universe and I listen, and I feel so UNALONE. I feel so small with all these other people in spirit and I wonder how I ever felt alone at all.


Last week I got some news I didn’t want to hear, and I told this friend of mine, “I feel like a light that was always inside me was just dimmed permanently. That the hope I always carried for something had just died. And that I feared I couldn’t ever get that light back.” She told me it sounded like grief. And she was right. Grief sneaks up on us in many forms.


Yesterday, I was doing a reading for a client who I saw so many eerie life parallels too and I pulled a card for her “Shekinah.” Shekinah is the light within. “There is a light at the center of everything that happens to us—both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad.’ We are not just this body or this pain we might be going through. We are light. We are molecules of heaven in human form. We can experience the light we are. And that can be enough.” Quoted by Meggan Watterson in The Divine Feminine.


By the way, if you are wondering about meeting your past life soulmates, take a look around you. Your friends might have been in more than one of your past lives. Soulmate friends is totally a thing.


If you need help putting things together…reach out to me for a session.


Namaste friends!

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