People will disappoint you. Repeatedly, or at least that’s what it feels like. We want to scream and shout for those we care about to meet our needs and when they don’t, we cry tears of frustration. Why can’t they just get it? Why can’t they be attuned to when I need that extra support or care? Perhaps they just aren’t as mindful as you. Maybe they are simply living unaware. There is often too much distraction in the mind, and this does not allow one the space to know when to pause and reflect and perhaps approach their mate with a better response. This has happened to the most mindful of us out there!
We can’t see that in the heat of the moment of profound disappointment. How do we say, “Hey, get with it!” Be mindful like me. Be considerate to me. Understand me. Ah, that is the difficulty we all face at some point in our relationships.
Often times we go down a dark, doubtful inner-tirade with ourselves. We might say things to ourselves like, “Well this is what always happens in my relationships.” Why should I bother? All men or women are like this! I should just be alone. I can’t deal with people anymore. Then the self-doubt starts to do a number on our self-esteem. We question our self-worth. We say things like, “Well maybe it’s because I’m not nice enough, or smart enough or pretty enough (insert any enough statement here!)” Or we start to question our sanity. Am I going crazy? Am I alone in thinking these things? Why can’t I just be happy?
Some of us escape from people all together. We take a step back from relationships and humanity at large. So overwhelming is our disappointment that we don’t want to open up even once more. We marvel at those who seem to bounce back so quickly. Either way we descend down into the disappointment downhill spiral, we are left with the impact of these emotions if we don’t recognize them for what they really are.
It is during these times when I’ve stopped to reflect and ask myself what my higher power is trying to teach me. What lesson does the Divine have for me? Are these disappointments purposeful setbacks designed to help me in some way? Have I moved past my own disappointment and really listened for the message that my guardians are trying to tell me?
It is at this precise moment when a choice is to be made. I will either live in fear and a constant state of wondering when the next disappointment will hit me or I can have faith that everything is being created and designed for my best benefit. Even if I can’t see it or can’t know what the next thing coming my way is, or even fully understand it, I can still move forward in faith knowing that the Universe will illuminate the way for me to understand the plans the Divine has for me. Because I truly do not believe that it is to make me sad, depressed or despondent. No, something larger than I can conceptualize will arise and it will be so amazing!
When we find ourselves in these situations it is so important to take a step back, pause and remember that you aren’t alone in feeling disappointment. We all experience it as a part of our growth lesson in life. I have learned that being in a constant state of gratitude of what is before me right now presently is the path to having equanimity, instead of trying to control the outcome. Every time I try to control the outcome and not let go, I cause my own suffering. I recognize my temporary upset over disappointment as fear over uncertainty. Uncertainty is not always a comfortable state to be. Be gentle with yourself. We are all a work in progress.