Isn’t it interesting how we spend years building things? Trying so hard to create a foundation for ourselves whether it be our careers, relationships, or our homes. And it seems that it’s so easy for all that to fall apart—to shatter. Then you may wonder, where did I go wrong? Did I not build the foundation strong enough? Did I try to create something too quickly?
Maybe we feel like we’ve never built up much of anything. We may have put forth tremendous effort only to feel like we are spinning in circles. Never pushing beyond the boundaries that hold us back from the stability we so desire and need. It’s that feeling of always looking off in the distance and wondering when things will start to fall into place—if ever. Some of us, including me, have been in both places.
Last week I met with a highly recommended Vedic astrologer. Yes, I can read myself –I am a psychic—but I wanted an unbiased opinion from someone who doesn’t know me well. I had been wondering about some areas of my life that plague me. I asked him about all these different areas, and he gave me vague answers to all but one area in my life. This is not because he’s a crappy past-life astrologer. He simply would not venture far from what he saw was the central issue in my life that impacted all other areas. He invited me to just work on this one area of my life right now. What’s interesting is that this area was not the area I was most concerned about. Even when I pressed him, he wouldn’t budge from what he saw in my past-life karmic cycle.
He asked me to use this window of opportunity to work through this karma. So, I committed to one year of extra meditation focused on a particular chant and certain rituals. It really wasn’t that much extra meditation for me, and I adore rituals anyway. This is my homework assignment for the year. This year I’ve committed myself to a full year of self-discovery, transformation, and karmic healing.
This seems a year destined for such work, right? It’s not like I could distract myself by traveling or being social which is my usual method. I have found that in healing and growing spiritually my relationships to others have certainly changed. It’s caused some rifts and fallouts sadly, but also brought me much closer to others. I wonder if I have really changed all that much or that in my process of healing, I have created much needed boundaries. As an empathic person and reformed people pleaser, I was simply too open before. So, have I changed? Not really, but the voice that is quite loud in me used to be very quiet and shy. I was likely to nod in agreement to the desires of what others wanted. Many times, because I myself didn’t know what I wanted and no one challenged me to ask myself why. Being “easier” to get along with was what I strived for and I dodged any conflict like Wonder Woman and her bracelets of submission.
There is more than one person who isn’t so keen on this “evolved” Laura. I’ve been told that I’m loud, assertive, aggressive and all sorts of other terms women are routinely called when they start lobbying for themselves. I own up wholeheartedly to being loud. How can I not be with a mother from Italy and father from Argentina?!? Perhaps I am assertive now. I’m sticking up for myself and for those who need that help finding their voice too. How can I not write letters, send emails, and voice my opinion when people are stepping so far out of bounds? Have you also noticed a trend that people keep trying to deflect their negative traits and dark shadow side onto you? And then passionately believing these things about you are true?
I so want to be that person who completely doesn’t care what others think, but I’m not there yet. I so want to be that person who screams, you aren’t treating me kindly so peace out, but that’s likely never to be me. I consider myself under construction right now, so maybe this will change after my year of self-discovery.
Now back to my Vedic astrologer from India. What made this meeting so meaningful to me was I could see the scene he described from my past life completely. It was like every barrier, every pain, every frustration that I have ever felt in this lifetime was explained in that scene I saw. Every puzzle piece clicked into place. He said one thing that really stood out to me, “You feel like you are being punished, don’t you?” Bingo. That is most definitely how I have felt but seldom could express. None of his words upset me; much the opposite, I felt hopeful and appreciative that he guided me to that scene.
> How is it that psychics don’t just see these things for themselves?
I can see a great many things for myself, but it really is easier to read another person. Your own ego and bias get in the way at times. Other times you haven’t put yourself in the right condition to see things that have been hidden in your shadow side. I have been trying to see this past-life for quite some time but always got a little stuck seeing it clearly.
>> How do you know if it’s past life related? If you feel certain patterns keep developing in your life or if certain people keep popping up it could likely be rooted to past-life karma or ancestral karma that you need to work out.
I believe things are revealed to you when you are ready. I waited to see this astrologer. He’s all the way in India and working out our timing was tricky. There was a delay in the booking and I just stayed patient with it. I now believe this timing was intentional from the Universe. In the interim of waiting to see him, I had done a lot of rituals and spells asking for light through darkness. I made my intention known to the Universe that I wanted to see what was behind door number one finally.
If you are working through your own self-discovery, you might want to try rituals, spells, journaling, intention setting, meditations, reiki, tai chi, yoga, or anything else that helps you open up your third eye.
If you would like a session with me to find out about your own personal blockages or reiki to balance your energy centers, I am available remotely. Check out my website for more info.